I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
