Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We have so much sex to catch up on
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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