She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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