i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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