i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
