Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize