haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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