big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
