yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
