Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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