1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Randomize
