i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Soap is not a condiment
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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