it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize