End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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