definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
