When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
