I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
