is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
