So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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