So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
