He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
