the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
