i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
