I skipped work to stalk him.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
