is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
