you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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