the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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