no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
