Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
