Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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