Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
