she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
