marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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