I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize
