I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
