can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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