i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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