even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
