haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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