just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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