Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
