you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
