This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
