If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
