you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
