It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
