Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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