I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
