you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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