I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
