plz talk dirty to me
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
