he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
