Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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