I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
