Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I need moral support for this bender
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
