wat bout pragnant strippers??
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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