p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
COCAINE IS GR8
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
