This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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