i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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