roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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