just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize