omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
